Extended Breastfeeding

What is Extended Breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding past the first year of a child’s life is considered to be ‘extended breastfeeding’. It is a controversial topic in developed societies, with which they hold autonomy and independence in such high regard, though in other cultures extended breastfeeding is a completely normal practice. Women who choose to breastfeed beyond a year will probably find that the most difficult part is society’s opinion, though there are many scientific and psychological sources that show advantages to extended breastfeeding.

What are the Benefits of Extended Breastfeeding?

• Breast milk contains high numbers of vitamins, immunities and enzymes, which change as your child gets older to suit their needs. They may be getting many of these things by way of solid food, but investigations have demonstrated that children who are breastfed as well get ill less often than those who aren’t.
• Breastfeeding is a strong source of emotional support and reassurance. The perception in the West is that children who are ‘indulged’ in this way will grow up to be clingy and needy. In fact, the opposite is true. Children who feel secure and comforted are more likely to develop confidence and independence than those who are pushed away and encouraged to ‘stand on their own two feet’. Both child and mother can gain comfort, and form a bond over their special time together.
• Letting your child decide when they want to wean is more natural than picking an arbitrary end point. Before the invention of formula milk, breastfeeding beyond a year was very common, and in the animal kingdom, mammals breastfeed from between 2 and a half to seven years. While this may not make your mind up on the topic, it at least shows that extended breastfeeding is not ‘unnatural’ as some people comment. In fact, the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for up to two years of age or beyond.
• Breast milk is gentle on a toddler’s stomach and when they are ill, may be the only thing they can keep down.
• Breastfeeding delays the return of your periods. It should not be used as a form of contraception, but for many women this is a distinct advantage.

What are the Difficulties of Extended Breastfeeding?

• The general public is the main difficulty. Breasts are highly sexualised in our society, and it offends some people to see a child using them to feed. Some women get asked not to do it in public, or have people ask rude questions about why they are still nursing. For many women, it is easier to keep their extended breastfeeding private, and only do it in their home or another private place.
• A more pressing difficulty may come in the form of criticism from friends and family, particularly from your partner. This sort of pressure is more likely to be affective and hurtful, and can be difficult to deal with. Your partner may (understandably) wish you to stop breastfeeding so that he can reclaim your breasts. At this point you should consider whether your relationship with your partner is going to be more affected than your relationship with your child based on your decision to breastfeed or not.
• Breastfeeding can become a prop for your toddler, a guaranteed way to get mummy’s attention and a cuddle, or just something to do when he/she is bored. Be wary of this, and if you suspect it, try to divert their attention at these times.
• Breastfeeding can be physically difficult for some women. If your child has teeth they can cause you pain, and toddlers are more demanding than babies. They drink much more milk much more quickly, and will try out different positions to feed from, which may be uncomfortable for you. Set your own boundaries as to how and when your child can feed.
• There are certain potential embarrassments from breastfeeding a child. This is a demanding person who can talk, and if you have not taught them a discreet code word for breast milk, you may find yourself embarrassed when they ask for it in public. Similarly, you should try and stop any behaviour from them such as lifting your top up to signal they want to be fed, or using their free hand to do mischief during feeding.
• There are complications and difficulties with extended breastfeeding if you have, or are expecting another child. During pregnancy your supply of breast milk may dry up, so it may be an idea to wean your child before the next baby comes along. If you do not want to, it is possible to breastfeed two children at once, but it can be much more difficult. Deciding to wean the older child after the baby arrives can lead to jealousy and competition, so be careful how you go about it. Many children come to the decision to wean themselves during pregnancy, because the milk tastes different.

How Extended Breastfeeding Can Work for You

Obviously, you as an individual need to decide the best ways to deal with public criticism and the other difficulties of extended breastfeeding. However, here are some general tips. If you wish to keep your breastfeeding quiet, it may be an idea to breastfeed only at the break of day and at night and educate your child to drink from a mug during the day. To avoid embarrassment in public, teach your child a code word such as ‘num-nums’ or just ‘milk’, so that you know what they mean but others won’t. If you don’t care what the public think, be ready with some snappy retorts to let people know you won’t accept their rudeness. One inevitable question is, “Is she really feeding still?” Sometimes just, ‘yes’, will stop the conversation. If people ask, “Will you ever stop breastfeeding?”, you can reply with a joke such as, “Yes, in about ten minutes.” You can also try a factual response about the benefits of long-term breastfeeding, or just being rude back and telling people it is none of their business.

The Case Against

There have been articles and books published stating a case against extended breastfeeding. These generally argue that extended breastfeeding is a selfish act on the part of the mother, and that children acquiesce to be well-behaved and to avoid hurting their mother’s feelings. They stress that the evidence for the benefits of extended breastfeeding is flimsy in places, and use equally flimsy evidence to prove the opposite view; that breastfeeding can be psychologically damaging to a child. It is up to you to decide which view you comply with. However, much of the argument against extended breastfeeding is based on societal norms and prejudices, as well as a certain amount of guesswork, rather than scientific fact and research.